THE NEW YORK TIMES, WORLD'S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD, CLOSES ITS DOORS FOREVER

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Governor Christie Explodes in Trenton
Governor Christie Explodes in Trenton
The Governor fell victim to morbid obesity and an internal build-up of methane due to an inability, or unwillingness, to expel waste.
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URBAN ETHICS
Canine Date Rape: An Issue That Can't Be Woofed Away
Canine Date Rape: An Issue That Can't Be Woofed Away
Dogs are less inhibited and self-conscious than humans. But this hardly excuses the deplorable practice of canine date rape.
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Spider-Man Said to be Leaving Spider-Man
Spider-Man Said to be Leaving Spider-Man
The title character in "Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark" will step aside to be replaced by Batman, the show's producers say.
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Pope Reopens Trial of Galileo
Pope Reopens Trial of Galileo
His Holiness announced that Mr. Galilei's remains will be charged with crimes against humanity such as global warming, industrial pollution, abortion, and cell-phones that go off during Mass.
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FROM WASHINGTON
House Tea Party Bill Would Abolish Death and Taxes
Reflecting intense concern among their rank and file, whose median age is 98, House Tea Partiers are up in arms about the “unchecked epidemic of death sweeping America.”
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Owners May Have 'Torched' Building for Insurance Money
The New York Times building is currently on fire.
Markets Refuse to Slump on News of Times Demise
Facing the catastrophic collapse of the world's most prestigious news institution, financial markets apparently remain in denial.
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THE LAST TIMESCAST
This is Mike the Intern on May the 10th, 2011
No one wanted to do this Timescast thing today, so I volunteered. I just graduated J School, and the paper folds! What a story!
Remember the Neediest
New Spielberg Holocaust Epic Awarded Pre-Oscar
New Spielberg Holocaust Epic Awarded Pre-Oscar
"The Diary of Schindler’s Pianist” has won an Oscar for Best Picture of 2011 even before it has started shooting.
From Pharma to Table: The McDonald's-Pfizer Merger
From Pharma to Table: The McDonald's-Pfizer Merger
The merger's rationale: McDonald's creates new patients for Pfizer to keep alive.
GOP Announces Sweeping New Social Safety Net
GOP Announces Sweeping New Social Safety Net
Measures include abolishing Medicare and replacing it with an ultra-low-cost program called Mediprayer.
INSIDE THE FINAL EDITION