Romney Blasts Obama for Spending Too Much Time in Bathroom

President Obama spends too much time in the bathroom and not enough time governing America, presumptive GOP nominee Mitt Romney charged today in a fiery speech to graduating seniors at the Cadbury Hill Nursery School in Westover, Utah.

“Studies show the average middle-aged male goes to the bathroom four times a day,” Romney said. “But a recent book by a former administration official revealed that Obama goes six or seven times. Americans are demanding to know, ‘Mr. Obama, what are you really doing in there?’”

An administration spokesman charged that Romney was just trying to divert attention from important issues such as why he has so much trouble convincing people that he is human.

But a Romney spokesman countered that the administration spokesman was raising that issue only to take voters’ minds off the question of why Obama had slow-jammed the news on the Jimmy Fallon Show the day before instead of criticizing Romney for attacking him. “I don’t think the American people want a president who is wallowing in the sordid trough of late-night TV entertainment when he should be using his valuable time answering every
inane question brought up against him by a bona-fide political opponent,” he said.

At that point, Romney broke into the phone call, interrupting his spokesman to interject, “What the heck is ‘slow-jamming the news?’”

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