Owners May Have 'Torched' Building for Insurance Money

By DON PRENDERGAST and LAKSHMI GURTZ

The New York Times building is currently on fire. While the building has been evacuated by the NYFD, several intrepid Times staffers, including this correspondent, have stayed inside to report on an historic event as it unfolds. The cause of the fire is unclear

The brazen torching of the New York Times headquarters by its soi-disant publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr, is a sordid attempt to wring a paltry few million more from the corpse of a once great newspaper. His shameless looting of company coffers as the paper spiraled into bankruptcy, gave new meaning to his nickname “Pinch” 

(THIS IS DON. GRAF 2 EXHIBITS OVERHEATED AND NON-OBJECTIVE RHETORIC. PLS REMOVE IT AND THIS PAREN B4 PUB)     but there is some evidence that a member or members, of the Sulzberger family may have engaged in arson of the New York Times Building, hours before the newspaper’s closing 

MAY HAVE?  Our careers are dead in the water but fatuous waffling over accountability by pea-brained collaborationist editorial drones from Nyack and Tarrytown, lives on. The building’s on fire! Torched by the owner! It’s called Jewish Lightning! This is what killed the paper! Hiding the truth with half-truths. Limp-

(THIS IS DON AGAIN. SPIKE GRAFS 2 & 4. BLOCK LAKSHMI GURTZ’S PASSWORD!)    however there is doubt publisher Arthur Ochs Sulzberger Jr. was involved. Given his reputed Asperger’s syndrome it is improbable that the family would have deputized him to carry out  

(DO NOT REMOVE THIS GRAF OR 2 & 4 OR I WILL PERSONALLY COME TO THE 7th FLOOR & REMOVE YOUR LUNGS VIA YOUR WEASEL MOUTH)    -dick editors like Don Prendergast were the reason we ducked a dozen opps to expose the trillion-dollar subprime Ponzi scheme. Why? Because Pinch’s social buddies were making pornographic amounts of dough and Don wanted 

(CALL SECURITY & FIND THIS MORON! NOW!)     The Times headquarters was a towering composition of glass and steel clad in a coruscating veil of ceramic rods. Designed by Italian architect Renzo Piano it was rooted, according to Times architectural critic Nicolai Ourroussoff 

(GOOD LUCK YOU BALD BOZO – WHAT IF I’M NOT IN THE FUCKING BUILDING, HUH?)     to blow management any chance he got, while real reporters with the real story were frozen out because they didn’t go to CJS and were South Asian 

(YOU WILL NEVER WORK IN JOURNALISM AGAIN DO YOU HEAR?)    in a more comforting time: the era of corporate Modernism that reached its apogee in the 1950s and 60s.  If Piano gently updated that ethos for the Internet age   

(OH YEAH? I’M CC-ING SLATE, DRUDGE AND HUFFPO AS WE SPEAK)     According to two eyewitness sources, a man carrying an empty gas can and wearing a Heath Ledger Joker mask ran from the Times lobby shortly before fire exploded from the 5th floor

(I SWEAR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND   IMPERATIVE - DELETE ALL PARENS FROM THIS STORY BEFORE IT GOES LIVE!!!!!)      his architectural genius may come to naught as flames engulf the upper stories, whose ceramic curtain wall extends beyond the roof to finish the building in a lace-like crown of white 

(TOO LATE, IT’S ALREADY LIVE!! LMFAO!!!)     jumped into a limo on 8th Avenue with the vanity plate AOSLZBGR and sped off in the direction of the West Side Highway.     

 

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