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Marriage Equality Gives New Yorkers Yet Another Reason To Feel Superior To L.A.

By MORDRED PENDRAGON
Marriage Equality Gives New Yorkers Yet Another Reason To Feel Superior To L.A.

Suck it, Lipstick City.

The gigantic list of reasons New York City is better than Los Angeles got longer last Friday when Governor Cuomo legalized gay marriage in the Empire State.  

The passage of Proposition 8 three years ago made gay marriage unconstitutional in the Golden State. So, while Gotham gays are picking out their tuxes and boutonnieres starting July 25th, Angeleno gays will have to make do with hoping the Sparks are above .500 in the WNBA. And that the WNBA hasn’t been disbanded. And that the Valley hasn’t disappeared under mudslides.

Seven other gay ways NYC beats the bejesus out of LA :

Broadway!  Gays owned it even before they opened Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Right now, Broadway encompasses the full rainbow of human sexuality, from gays to Mormons.

Art: New York City has world-class museums, opera, and restaurants. Manhattan museums have eight paintings by Vermeer alone. What does California have that you associate with the number eight? Right! Institutionalized homophobia.

Gay Politicians: New York’s City Council Speaker Christine Quinn is openly lesbian. Ex-Mayor Koch denies he’s gay, but we’re unpersuaded. Governor Cuomo is now a gay fucking god! The closest the Governator ever came to gay was starring in Junior.  

Late Nights: Where else can you marry someone of the same gender and also get a beef short-rib burger with foie gras at four in the morning? 

American Apparel: Disgusting. Skeevy. Did we mention they make their clothing in downtown LA? And their slogan, “Legalize Gay”? We’re way ahead of you, Left Coast.  As in Left Behind.

Anderson Cooper: He lives in the Village. In a decommissioned firehouse! ‘Nuff said.

Geography:  NYC has an entire borough named…Queens!

By every conceivable measure, the Big Apple is the fruit of choice. For everyone who has a choice.

 

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