The GOP leadership announced today its definitive answer to the Administration’s jobs plan: a new prime-time Fox reality-show called “Americans Idle.”
The show will feature five unemployed contestants competing for a non-union paying job (without benefits). They do whatever the home audience requires them to do to get the job, up to but not including, a Class A felony. Contestants may disrupt or upstage others. Home audience then votes on which American Idle wins – and gets the job!
To stress how seriously the GOP what it see as a highly innovative jobs plan, the panel of judges will be headed up by House Majority leader and future First Jewish President Eric Cantor. Other judges will be announced in coming days - Herman Cain, Jon Voight, Greta van Susturen and David Koch are among the frontrunners.
A pumped Cantor announced the launch at a press conference in Richmond, Va. “None of our contestants have a hope in hell of getting a job in this economy. Our reality show IS reality. Folks will do ANYTHING for a job. Americans Idle will showcase ordinary Americans’ aggression, ambition, grit and awesome ability to do whatever it takes, while giving them back their self-esteem. No humiliating socialist Obama giveaways and handouts. Brutal competition is the free market at its best.”
Asked what kind of job Americans Idle winners would win Cantor said: “There’s plenty of work out there. Example: for months our family’s needed a shabbas goy. So, it’s only one day a week. But it’s a job with dignity.”